Movement Is Healing: The Courage to Be Seen

This week on New York Girl Again – The After, we continue the Movement Is Healing series with Theresa Gratton, the owner and creative genius behind Flying Fabrics by Theresa, and a lifelong dancer with over 40 years of experience. 

Last time, we explored dance as a way to get out of our heads and back into our bodies. This week, Theresa joins me to continue that conversation through her lifelong relationship with movement, creativity, expression, beauty, and the courage to be seen. 

Together, we talk about dance, confidence, body image, starting something new, and what movement can awaken in us. 

For caregivers in the After, this conversation is about more than dance. It is about beginning again, reconnecting with ourselves, letting ourselves be seen, and remembering that our bodies are not only here to endure — they are also here to express, to feel, and to carry joy. 

To see Theresa, the stunning flying fabrics, and the beautiful photos that bring this conversation to life, watch the video version of this episode on New York Girl Again - the After's channel on YouTube:   https://youtu.be/3aIN-rQkBe8

Connect with New York Girl Again: 

• Website: NewYorkGirlAgain.com 
• Instagram: @NYGirlAgain 
• Facebook: @NewYorkGirlAgain 

 Connect with Theresa Gratton / Flying Fabrics by Theresa: 

• Website: FlyingFabrics.com 
• Instagram/Facebook: @flyingfabricsbytheresa 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hi everyone, I'm Therese and this is New York Girl Again, The After, the podcast for caregivers who have survived the hardest chapter of their lives and are now gathering both the courage and the strength to write the next one. As a promise, today we are continuing the Movement in the Healing series with Teresa Grattan, the owner and creative genius behind Flying Fabrics by Teresa and a lifelong dancer. Teresa has been dancing for over 40 years. And her creative work, the flowing fabric and photography, grew out of that lifelong relationship with movement, expression, beauty, creativity, and the courage to be seen. Last week we talked about dances as a way to get out of our heads and back into our bodies. Today, Teresa joins me to continue that conversation as we discuss what movement can awaken in us, what it can help us face. And how it can reconnect us with confidence and joy and parts of ourselves that may have gone quiet. For caregivers in the after. I think this conversation is about more than dance. It's about beginning again. Letting ourselves be seen and remembering that our bodies are not only here to endure, they are also here to express, to feel, and to carry joy. I am so grateful to welcome Teresa to New York Girl again, the after.

SPEAKER_01 1:51

So I've been dancing, gosh, for I'm gonna age myself here. Over almost 40 years. That's amazing. Yeah. So um I started obviously when I was a little girl, but then I stopped for quite a while. And um my all through my high school years, I didn't dance, which is probably the most important time I should have been dancing, but I didn't. Um, and then I I started back up when I was in my early 20s, and I've been dancing ever since. Um, lots of different genres. I started with um classical ballet, contemporary, um, until I had a back issue, a back surgery, and the doctor said it's probably not the best thing for you to do classical ballet anymore, so you might want to find a different genre of dance. When was that? That was gosh, in 20 uh 18, 19, right around the COVID time. Okay, wow. That must have been devastating. It was, it was, because at the time dance was my whole entire life. So I kind of sought out different genres, and that's when I fell into the ballroom world and um started doing ballroom and fell in love with that. That's right. When did you start at a studio? What year was it?

SPEAKER_00 3:02

I think it was 2019, right when COVID hit. Of course, that's where we met at the studio. We met, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:08

We should start in the studio. Yes. Yeah. So um, and then during that time, I was just getting back into ballet as well, not classical ballet. I couldn't do point anymore, but I was doing um just regular ballet and um contemporary, and I wanted some really cool photos. I was seeing all these photos um overseas with fabrics and um especially like in Greece, the flying fabrics in um Santorino. And I was like, I want to do something like that here. But I reached out to um photographers and no one was like, no one ever did that. And no one's like, what are you talking about, fabrics? And so I kind of just started uh uh started building it myself. I I bought some fabrics, not even knowing what I was doing, and um attached it to some of my costumes and hired a photographer, and um that's how flying fabrics by Teresa started.

SPEAKER_00 3:59

That is amazing. Yeah, some of those pictures are absolutely stunning, absolutely stunning. Yeah, and that's that's actually why I was drawn to flying fabrics too, because those pictures were so amazing. So Teresa did two of my photo shoots as well. Yes, beautiful. Um, so yeah, it's absolutely incredible. So, what first drew you to dance?

SPEAKER_01 4:21

Um, so like I was saying, I started when I was a little girl, obviously doing the ballet, gymnastic tap, the just the you know, the basic three that my mom put me into school. And I liked it and all, and I really enjoyed it. But then in high school years, I stopped. And I don't know, just typical high school thing, you know, you're doing other things, you're not really paying attention to what you want to do, you're just kind of following your friends or whatever. And then um, in early when I was in my early 20s, I was in a really dark place. I had um uh not to be dramatic or anything, but dance honestly slaves my life, and I think that's why it's so important to me. And like I said, I don't want to be dramatic or anything, but that's kind of how I look at it. Yeah, um, that's I was engaged to be married, and my fiance at the time left me right before the wedding, and it was just devastating to me. And you know, looking back now, it's like, okay, well, we weren't meant for each other, but at the time you think that's like the only person for you. Of course. Um, early 20s, you're really impressionable, you know. So um, I was in a very dark place and just kind of like in a coma state for almost a year, and my I remember my friends and family being like, you have to do something to get out of this. Like you're just you're you're just not living. I was just staying home all the time, just very depressed. And I remember um I was like, Well, I think they're right, maybe I'll just try dance again. And um, so I joined a ballet class, and I just it was just my way of getting out of that funk, and it really brought me back to life. Like it was a way, one, to express myself, first of all, to because I was so angry and bitter inside at the time, and I didn't know how to voice that any other way. So dancing was a way for me to get that all out, all those emotions, and just let it go and free myself of all that, and it also socially got me out there again. I was in dance class, I was interaction, interacting with people, right? So, yeah, it's community, yeah, a community sense, yeah. So um it just it's kind of just snowedballed from there, and then just like every waking day I just had to dance. And then it wasn't um that I wanted to dance, I needed to dance. Like every day I was like therapeutic at that point, right? And now looking back, I realized why it was getting me out of my funk because when I was dancing, my endorphins were going and it was getting me that joy that I needed. Right. I mean, at the time I didn't know. I mean, looking back, it's like I'm early 20s, I knew nothing about endorphins. I just knew when I danced, I was feeling good. Yeah. So, but now looking back, I'm like, yeah, that's you know, that's what was happening. Like I had endorphins going, and so I would just spend hours and hours in the studio, endless hours.

SPEAKER_00 7:14

Um, and yeah, that's kind of how I got out of that dark spot in my to caregivers who've really, you know, given pretty much most of themselves, sacrifice most of themselves, most of their lives to their loved ones, you know, looking for somehow to kind of come back to themselves. I think dance is that absolute remedy. And um, you know, because we met, I I it was about two years after my dad passed away, I decided to take up ballroom dancing, and that's where I had the honor of meeting you. Wow. So it it was so transformative for me because I was still so depressed and so sad, and you know, just it was such a way to bring me out of out of my shell, you know. Or not even out of my shell, but push me out of my comfort zone. Exactly, you know, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:10

Um and it gets you over the hump. Yeah, it just pushes you over that hump, that that mundane of that dark spot, that depression.

SPEAKER_00 8:18

Yeah, absolutely, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 8:20

And when I don't dance, I kind of just don't feel right.

SPEAKER_00 8:24

Right.

SPEAKER_01 8:24

I just feel out of sorts, and I can't explain it. And I don't know if that's necessarily healthy either, to be so dependent on something, but um Well, it's something so good, right?

SPEAKER_00 8:34

Yeah, something that's that makes you feel good, that's healthy and beneficial to you. So um I don't think there's I I don't think there's any harm harm in it, right?

SPEAKER_01 8:46

Yeah, it's all good stuff.

SPEAKER_00 8:48

But I mean, you've done it for so many years, and look how far you've progressed. I mean to me that's the fun part of it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:55

Like you reach you reach a certain goal, it's like, okay, what can I do now? How far can I take it? You know, how far now that I'm almost I'm pushing 60. But you don't look at it all. How far can I push my body? Okay, I got this far. What can I do next? What different genre am I gonna do? Like, there's so many different directions you can take dance, and dance can take you. That it that's the fun part part to me. Like, I don't mind um the goal part because it's like, oh, am I gonna reach it? When am I gonna reach it? And that's you know, and it's never on the time frame that you want, you know. It's uh you have to be patient with it.

SPEAKER_00 9:31

So what about all the choreography that you've done?

SPEAKER_01 9:35

Oh, um, you mean creating myself or that I've actually danced?

SPEAKER_00 9:39

Well, that you've danced, that you've you've given your input in to to do these incredible performances. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:46

Um that's I love that. I've um I always said in my next life I want to be a choreographer because I just love creating that's to me the most um rewarding part of dance is the the creating aspect of it. Um so whether I'm having choreography put on me or if I'm creating my own choreography or if there's a collaboration, that's just um to me that process is is um the most rewarding in the studio. The one dance that probably stands out the most for me um is I did um with Marcus Rogers dance company, I I danced with him quite often. Um, and he did choreography to the prayer. It wasn't on me, he created it for another dancer, danced it with another dancer, but I had the opportunity to dance it with him two times actually, and it's just so beautiful. Um, it's to the prayer, um, Andre Piccelli and Celine Dionge. Yes, and but we did it to a cover of that, which was beautiful. Um, and that both times I've danced that, I've never experienced anything elsewhere because it's just such a beautiful piece that he choreographed. And again, it wasn't choreographed for me, it was it was for somebody else, but I just had the opportunity to dance it with him. And um, just when we danced that, the two times I've had the opportunity to dance with him with that, it's just you could tell that you've moved somebody, and it's the only time in my dancing career where people have come up and said, Wow, like that really moved us, that touched us, and that's all I really ever want from dance is just to move somebody or touch somebody. So how did it feel for you though, doing that dance? Oh, amazing, yeah. And it's that's what you're I'm constantly trying to chase that feeling.

SPEAKER_00 11:34

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:36

Because it's really a a wonderful feeling when you know that you're connected with the audience like that, and actually like bringing someone, bringing emotion to somebody that you necessarily wouldn't be able to do any other way.

SPEAKER_00 11:49

Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:50

Dance is the one art form that or the one thing, um, I know you can call it a sport, I like to call it a sport that brings together your mind, your body, your soul, and your emotion. Right. Not too many other sports or activities do that, that kind of bring all of that together. Um, so yeah, when you're when you're dancing, you're you're tuning into your physical being, um, your your mind, because you have to remember steps, choreography, you have to be aware of your spatial, um, where you are spatial, you know, in on the dance floor. Um, and then the music brings in your emotions. So it's the one thing that that kind of like brings only five senses, everything together. And um, so when you're when you're dealing with that, it's it's kind of it can as far as like emotions or grief, it can bring you out of so many different things, depression, grief, um, it make you happy. It it can make you feel sad sometimes, it's depending on the piece, I guess, you know. But it's the one thing in a good way. In a good way, right? It brings out you maybe remembering of a you know, an emotion that brings kind of um a sense of remembering someone that you lost or something like that.

SPEAKER_00 13:04

But or an emotion that's been stuck in you for a while, right? And that needs to kind of come out and be released, right?

SPEAKER_01 13:11

So well the emotion aspect, I think, of it, especially um the movement combined with music, because you're having your sight and your sound, your physical and your emotional tapped in all together. So when you bring in the music, um that can bring up so many different emotions for so many different people, good, bad, indifferent, anything.

SPEAKER_00 13:33

So funny that just touching on that, um, there was a song at the studio that they would play every once in a while, and it literally would make me cry. Like, and I just still don't know what the name of the song is. Has that ever happened to you? I've never felt that way about any song before. Has that happened to you a lot? Yeah, it has.

SPEAKER_01 13:54

Certain songs just bring, like I'll hear something on the radio or in the studio, somebody will be dancing to something, have nothing to do with me, and um I'll just be like, oh, what's that? And now all of a sudden, like something triggers in my head, like, wow, like that's bringing up some type of emotion for me.

SPEAKER_00 14:09

Yes, yeah, and it that's never happened to me for a song without lyrics. You know, this song had no lyrics, and it was a slow time. I don't know which one you're talking about because I think it did the same thing. Does it do the same thing? So they know exactly which one you're talking about. Yeah, and I uh and I try to find it frequently there. They do. And I tried and it instantly it comes on. I mean, it's instantly I start to cry. And and I never could find they find out what it was. Maybe it's a good thing.

SPEAKER_01 14:40

It's bringing something in your brain.

SPEAKER_00 14:42

Yeah, yeah, it's bringing something in your brain, and I and I find that so interesting, you know, how something like that, just music alone, can bring on such emotion, you know, and then that dance aspect into it, you know, it's like it's it can be overwhelming, I think. Then you add movement or just telling a whole story. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It can I I think it could flood you, but in a good way, in a good way, yeah. Yeah, you've been dancing for so long and you've met so many people, had so many different instructors, um, but you know, been surrounded by other people, other dancers at all different levels, right? Beginner, like me, um, intermediate, expert. Um have you like watched a progress progression of confidence build like in people? I mean, I'm sure you felt that in yourself too. Oh yeah, these years too. Yeah, absolutely. Do you witness it like in other people when oh yeah, you can definitely see it.

SPEAKER_01 15:40

You can see that when they first walk into the studio, their first lesson to maybe you know, 10 lessons later, and then maybe 20 lessons later, you can definitely see how they um become more confident in themselves when they first start, they're a little unsure, you know, what I think it's more um scared of the unknown, maybe not knowing what to expect a lot of times. And then when once they get used to that and just get into the movement and trust in your partner too. I think especially if you're doing um partnering work like ballroom, um learning, you know, after a few lessons, really, getting to know your partner, connected with your partner, and trusting your partner, then you know, you become more confident. But oops. You didn't trust me too much. For myself, too, the confidence, like switching genres. When I, you know, I did ballet for 25 years, I was very confident. Right. And then I started ballroom, and I just remember walking into the studio saying, Oh my gosh, like I have no idea what I'm doing here, didn't know what to expect, didn't know and isn't that interesting?

SPEAKER_00 16:45

Because like, like I would think, oh my god, you're this expert ballerina. You you know dance inside and out. So to come into a ballroom type of atmosphere must just be like, okay, you know, no problem. So I thought it was totally opposite.

SPEAKER_01 17:00

I walked in and I was scared to death. I was just like, oh my gosh, I don't, I didn't want to look stupid. And I was like, I know I'm gonna not move right. I was um, I went from um ballet and I when I joined um the ballroom, I was like, I wanted specifically American rhythm or Latin, which is totally different than ballet. Right, right. Ballet, you don't move your hips or anything, and like just trying to get that hoot hip movement and everything was just like a fish out of water, and I just remember saying, Oh, I look stupid doing this.

SPEAKER_00 17:28

How long did it take you to build confidence in yourself back? I still don't have confidence in myself.

SPEAKER_01 17:33

But you should, you're amazing. I still don't. I still look in the mirror, I'm like, oh God, I look ridiculous. What am I doing? Oh no, but um you were like up here. No. Uh so yeah, it just but it builds over time. I mean, I'm more confident than first day, but you know, I have moments of saying, Oh boy, I feel really weird doing this movement, but um you just keep practicing and it comes.

SPEAKER_00 17:54

Yeah. So what would you say to someone who's thinking about taking up ballroom dancing, but they feel too old or too awkward, or um they're afraid. Oh gosh.

SPEAKER_01 18:09

Um, well, don't be, and I'll tell you why. Um, when I started back up when I was in my early 20s, um, this is going back like four years, so there was no really adult classes. So um going into a studio trying to find um lessons was very difficult. Um and I was taking lessons with teenagers when we little kids. I do whatever I had to do because I really wanted to do it. But nowadays, um, first of all, you're never too old. That's just get that out of your head. Uh it's never too late to start. And nowadays, you're gonna find adult classes everywhere, especially ballroom everywhere. But if you wanted, let's say you're interested in hip hop or ballet or contemporary, lyrical, jazz, whatever it is, no matter what studio you go into, you're gonna find an adult class. So it's much easier nowadays than it was 40 years ago when I did it. Right. Right, right. Um, and second of all, the adult community, dance community, I have to say, is probably one of the most supportive communities out there. So no matter what studio you walk into, you're gonna find people that support you, want you to do well, want to help you, you're gonna make friends, you're gonna make a huge dance family. And if you happen to get into a studio where you don't feel that, go to a different studio.

SPEAKER_00 19:30

Right.

SPEAKER_01 19:31

Because you're in the wrong place.

SPEAKER_00 19:32

Right.

SPEAKER_01 19:33

Um, and it's just you're gonna love it. It's gonna be scary at first. I remember when I was, you know, 40 years ago walking in that first ballet class. I was scared about stupid stuff. You worry about this stupid stuff, like, what am I gonna wear? Like who am I supposed to wear? What where am I supposed to stand at the bar? Like, what happens? I stand, you know, you your mind like starts playing tricks on you, all these like weird things you worry about that you don't need to. But if you call the studio, there's always, you know, the instructor or the owner just asks questions, you know, what do I wear to class? What do people wear? What are you know? And once you get answers to your questions, then it's less scary. Right. And then your first lesson when you get there, two minutes into it, you're gonna be fine. And you're gonna be like, God, why did I do this 20, 30 years ago?

SPEAKER_00 20:19

Right?

SPEAKER_01 20:20

There's no reason to be scared, you're gonna love it and you're gonna get bit by the dance bug, and you're never gonna stop.

SPEAKER_00 20:25

Yeah, it's true. I I I can attest to that because um I was so nervous about walking into that studio. Um but you know, once I started dancing with the instructor, and um, you know, you could sense that he had a lot of knowledge himself and he was used to working with older adults, um, it kind of put you at ease. And I also think that maybe like starting up with the group classes might be a way to ease into it as well. So just private lessons, you know. But like you said, you know, you you get that kind of sense of community, which is so important, especially, you know, especially for people who are coming out of a caregiving situation, who may have lost a lot of friends, you know, during that time, um, which happens a lot. That happened to me. Um, I lost a lot of friends who just didn't understand, you know, um, or who who couldn't keep up with the grief that I was experiencing, or you know, wasn't able to to to listen to my you know my venting. Um but you know, it was nice to kind of get into like a family almost in like another family situation.

SPEAKER_01 21:43

Um I have the brain and the body connection with dance. Um dance is the one thing where the activity you have to kind of remember your steps. You have there's a lot of things going on in your brain as you're physically doing something, right? Um so you're remembering. Steps, you're remembering your um your spatial awareness. There's a lot that goes on the you know in your brain as you're as you're moving. So when you're doing something new, it's exciting. Um and dance is it's no different. Um, and I think with dances, you can physically see the progression. Yes, I agree with that. You know what I mean? So you go into the studio one day, especially as a beginner, and you're doing a box step, and then the next day, you know, you're doing turns or this or that, and you're just like, wow, I didn't know I could do that.

SPEAKER_00 22:29

Where did that come from? I agree. So, what do you think dance teaches us about making mistakes and recovering from them and moving forward? Because I've always had an issue with that, you know.

SPEAKER_01 22:43

It teaches you that it's okay. Yes, that you're not going to die if you make a mistake. And if the world's going to go on, yeah, and that you just have to let it go. And that, you know, it's it's okay to make mistakes. That's all part of the process. And um, you know, whether you're uh rehearsing in the studio or if you're performing or if you're at a competition, if you make a mistake, you just have to let it go. And thing things will go on and everything will be okay. You can't you can't live in it. You can't say, okay, I made a mistake, oh my God, and then the rest of the performers, I made a mistake, I made a mistake. It's it's just gonna like snowball into bad things, right? Just release it and and keep going on.

SPEAKER_00 23:24

Yeah, and that's one of the things um I think it's one of the things that really moved me when I was first learning the dancing, was I I would make a mistake and I immediately would want to stop and and like berate myself or like run and cry. And and my instructor would not let me do that. He's like, keep going, keep going, keep going. And I'm like, but I made a mistake. I'm thinking, you know, I gotta stop and start over. He's keep going, keep going. And and that, and I think that's just such an incredible metaphor for life, really, right? Yeah, you can't just stop because you've made a mistake or you made a wrong turn or you know, you tripped. You've got to get up and keep going like it never happened. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 24:16

And you can't be so hard. We're so hard on ourselves. We're always our worst enemy, and we're always like so critical of ourselves and make one little mistake, and like, oh my god, like you know, yeah. We've got to stop doing that to ourselves. It's okay, it's okay not to be perfect. Nobody's a caregiver. I would imagine that you're giving everything to the person you're caring for. You're you know, physically, mentally, emotionally, you know, everything that you have, you're giving to them. You are so dance is what I'm thinking is dance could possibly be a way for them to mentally, physically, emotionally give to the back to themselves. Yes, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 24:54

Building building myself back up, you know, kind of pushing myself out of the comfort zone. Uh I'll never forget the the first showcase that I did.

SPEAKER_01 25:05

Oh, you did amazing, by the way. Yes, you did. I remember, I remember that number. You did amazing.

SPEAKER_00 25:12

So I I didn't know how I could stand.

SPEAKER_01 25:16

I know you were very nervous, but you did amazing.

SPEAKER_00 25:18

Because I'm I'm an introvert at heart. And um, so putting myself out there is very difficult for me. But but how did you feel afterwards? Amazing, right? I felt so incredible that I pushed that I I pushed myself out of the comfort zone, you know. And um Yeah, yeah, I was really excited to do that.

SPEAKER_01 25:41

So someone once told me every once in a while, do something that scares the shit out of you. That's that's you know oh that's living. Every once in a while, just do something that scares the shit out of you because if it scares you, it's worth doing.

SPEAKER_00 25:58

Right, yeah, absolutely. It kind of makes you it kind of levels you out and and and brings you up to the next layer, right? Exactly. The next layer of life.

SPEAKER_01 26:09

And I've never really known anyone that did something that scared them that regretted it afterwards. You only regret it when you don't do it.

SPEAKER_00 26:15

Yes, yeah. So just do it. Yep, yeah, yep, just do it.

SPEAKER_01 26:19

Just do it.

SPEAKER_00 26:21

Teresa, thank you so much.

SPEAKER_01 26:22

Oh, you're welcome. I made a new friend. I know I have new buddies everywhere. Come on, Rio. My new friend Rio.

SPEAKER_00 26:33

For people interested in flying fabrics, you amazing companies. Tell me, tell them what you offer, um, how they can reach you, um, who is welcome, everything.

SPEAKER_01 26:47

Sure. So um it's flying fabrics by Teresa, and they can reach me by either going to flyingfabrics.com or emailing me at flyingfabrics by teresa at gmail.com. Um, so what I do is um photographs with fabrics, um, and everybody is welcome. I I started this business because I wanted to create beautiful things. I to me life is all about creating, whether it's a dance or a photograph. And I just I just love creating pretty things and sharing it with people. So anybody that wants a flying fabric photo can contact me. I've taken the past year to learn everything I can about photography. So I'm doing my own photography now. And you've taken some amazing photos. Yes, amaz amazing photos myself as well. And that's when I started looking at my photos. I'm like, well, I I kind of like doing it myself because when I source out to other photographers, I was giving away that liberty a little bit. So yeah, um, I'm just starting with the photography now on my own, and everybody is welcome to have a flying fabric done. I can come to you. Um, it's a lot of fun. We just like creating, it's just collaborating with people, meetings of people. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:00

And it's so amazing. You you work so hard because it's a lot of work.

SPEAKER_01 28:04

It is a lot of work, but fabrics and fun because like to me, life is about creating and meeting people and just um intermingling with people and and making people happy, and that's my that's my reward, honestly.

SPEAKER_00 28:19

You made me so happy with those sessions uh and the photos. You made it beautiful, but even the photos that you've taken um on your own, they're absolutely incredible. Oh, thank you. And so, I mean, just to be able to offer this total package is is incredible, and I think anybody should take advantage of you know being able to meet with you and to you know be a participant in your creative abilities.

SPEAKER_01 28:43

So yeah, especially if you're just coming out of caregiving, just do something for yourself.

SPEAKER_00 28:48

Make yourself feel you know special because you are, because we all are.